Fear and anxiety are felt by every person, but when this fear becomes your weakness, and then your self-confidence also decreases. We feel that people will make fun of us, think negatively about us, and this thinking pattern becomes the cause of our problems. We are not able to emerge from this fear and social anxiety even if we want because we really do not know the roots of our problems. We just keep thinking about the outer symptoms of problems.
I was an introvert since childhood. I used to have a lot of trouble getting mixed up with unknown people. My friends were also selected. There was no problem in interacting with my friends. But I used to speak much less with other people. I could not do any work openly. While doing any work I used to think about what people would think of me. Are they noticing me? Even in school, I was not able to interact openly with teachers.
I always wanted to participate in sports and other events too, but always kept away from it due to fear of appraisal. I have never been able to feel confident. I was good at studies. I have never been behind in education. There was a problem with just facing new people and situations.
I had a very good percentage on the 12th, so I got admission in the North Campus of Delhi University. The culture here was completely open. There was a lot of confidence in the students. Their conversation skills were much better. Whenever I compared myself with other students, I used to have an inferiority complex. My confidence used to fall more. I was able to understand that just being good at study is not everything. Without social skills, nothing can be done in life.
Whenever I was asked to give a presentation in class, I got very nervous. I used to sweat and my heart beat fast. It seems that everyone is watching me. That is why I try to sit on the last bench of the class so that no one could see me. The situation left me restless. In such a situation, I used to fear that people would evaluate me, which I looked nervous and worried. However, the reality was completely different. Students in my class motivated me many times. They talk to me well.
Many times I felt that I should leave college. But it was not possible because of family expectations. But my family was supportive. They used to try to make me meet with people but because of my social anxiety, I could not do so.
The first year had passed. Now I had some friends in my college. I spend more time with them and felt comfortable. Now there was a little hesitation. And The credit goes to my friend Nitin. I did not easily share my problem with anyone but Nitin was quite friendly. He used to give advice less and listen more
Actually this is what helped me to identify my problem. And showed me the right mirror that my problem is not social anxiety but my way of thinking. Actually, I see everything negative. I myself assume that what people will think or what will be the result, which causes me to panic. He advised me to first stand in front of everyone in my groups and tries to talk, meet with juniors. All this step by step was going on.
Now I try to do this with him daily. Initially, it was not easy, I used to feel nervous but slowly I was feeling comfortable. Even now, I get nervous after hearing the name of the presentation. While giving the presentation, the heartbeat would speed up and everything would mess up. But the teachers were supportive. They never said negative. Now I started watching videos of Sandeep Maheshwari as well. These videos helped me a lot. I had improved a lot when I graduated. I made goals for days that I will definitely do something that is not in my comfort zone. It would have helped me a lot. I worked a lot on my thought process.
I had an MBA ahead and today I am working in a good company. Today, I do not have any anxiety while presenting, nor have any social anxiety.
I can tell you from my experience that most of our life's problems have been created by us. This is the result of our faulty thinking pattern. We become what we think. This is the root of the problem and we need to be worked on. Nothing happens suddenly. So try to understand yourself, your problems, and their solutions and give proper time.
Personal Story: By Ashish Sharma