The Story of My Life: Insufferable Pain of one-sided Love

The Story of My Life: Insufferable Pain of one-sided Love

Jiandgi ke do bade decision lagahbag ek he time par lene hote hai. ek career or dusra partner. Mere sath bhi aisa he hua jab maine apni schooling khatm ki. Jab mera school khatm hua to main college me admission lene ke liye bahut excited tha. Par us time ye samjh pana ki kis course me admission lena hai, kis university jana hai ya kis field me apna career banana hai ye decide krna unta he mushkil tha.

School me jisne jo bta diya use humne reality maan li or us rah par chal diye. Bina kisi sawal ke. Mere parent jyada padhe likhe nhi hai to wo jo bahar se sun kr aate mujhe btate, ye kr le, wo kr le jaise kisi uncle ke sath kisi shop par kaam kr le ya fir kisi lawyer ke sath kaam kar le. Ya kisi doctor ke yaha compounder ban ja. kaam koi chhota nhi hota par main abhi padhna chahta tha or family ki financial condition theek nhi thi to maine socha ki jitna hum effort kr skte hai main wahi course chose krunga or padhai krunga.

Khair, un dino is bare me meri baat ek ladki se ho rhi thi. usne career choose karne me mera bahut sath diya. Finally maine university of delhi se graduation complete kiya or us time hum kafi karib aa gae. wo dusre college me thi or main dusre. Ya kahu ki main uske karib jane lga. mera attraction uske liye kafi badh gya. main apne aap ko humesha uske sath dekhna chahta tha. Phone par baaten, chat milna julna, dosto se milwana. Hum pados me rehte the to family bhi ek dusre ko janti hi thi. Main use kabhi propose nhi krna chahta tha kyoki janta tha ki wo mere bare me aisa kuch nhi sochti.

Par kai baar aap chizo ko jante ho par mante nhi ho or yhi wajah aapki mental health par asar dalti hai. or yani ki aapko ek mental illness deti rehti hai. ab tak sab smajh gae the ki ye one side love and attraction tha or main bhi smajh rha tha.

Ek din dosto ke pressure me aa kar maine use propose kar diya. Jab aap jante ho ki samne wala ka kya reaction hoga to propose kaise kiya jaye, kis andaz me kiya ye mayne nhi rkhta. Wahi hua jiska dar tha. usko mere liye aisi koi feeling nhi thi. Is baat ko usne mujhe smjhya, btaya uske samne to main sab maan gya par ander se us rejection ko accept nhi kr pa rha tha lihaja, main depression me jane lga.

Meri graduation complete ho chuki thi par main unemployed tha or ab man me career ki chinta nhi bas us ladki ko lekar kuch thoughts the jo baar baar pareshan kr rhe the. halaki meri baatchit usse hoti thi par bahut kam or wo smjh gai thi ki maine rejection ko dil par lga liya hai or move on nhi kr pa rha hu.
Usne mujhe fir se smjhne ki koshish ki aur samjhaya ki attraction is age me normal he. guilt feel mat karo.   par us samay shayad main is topic par kuch smjhne ki halat me nhi tha. Kya btau dosto wo time kuch aisa ho gya ki sochne smjhne ki Shakti mano khtm ho gai ho. Or usse meri baat chit bilkul band ho gai. By chance ek achhi opportunity mili or main Delhi chhod kar Punjab rehne aa gya ab yhi par job krta hu. fir main apni job me busy ho gya. mere bahut se relative Punjab me rhte hai or main ek badi family me involve hota chala gya.

Ab kafi time ho gya hai unsab baato se bahar aaye hue or ab main mentally healthy hu or move on kr chukka hu. Ab aesa koi attraction nahi he. Lekin ab un dino ko yaad krta hu to lgta hai ki baat kuch bhi nhi thi or ab agar aisi koi situation aati hai to main aram se deal kr sakta hu.

Dosto time se bada koi healer nhi hota. Lekin ye jaana jruri hai ki ek time aisa bhi ata hai ki situation haath se nikal jati hai. mere case me opportunity ka milna, mera Punjab shift hona kisi chamtkar se kam nhi tha or ye sab tb hua jab main mental conflicts se gujar rha tha.

To kuch is trike se maine mental health ko experience kiya Or ab mera mental health, psychology, stress, depression jaisi chizo me interest bad gya to jab bhi mental health se related kuch online dekhta hu to jrur padhta hu. par aaj pelhli baar kuch share krne ka mauka mila to bas kr diya ye sochkar ki  mere jaise kitne log same problem face karte he aur depression me chale jaate he. me yahi kehna chahunga ki one sided love ho ya attraction ye aapke mind ko unstable kar deta he. isliye kisi chij ko jabardasti itna bhi pakadne ki koshish na kare ki nuksan apne aap ko hi hone lage. mental health ko kabhi ignore na kare.

Thank You
Personal Story: By Mahesh Sharma

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