feel difficulty to talk freely and express my thoughts?

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  • #10966
    kritika vishvas
    Participant

    Hello sir/mam, I am a student of MBA from IGNOU, and I am studying distance learning from 4 years, I think my personality has become weak due to lack of interactions. I find it difficult to talk freely and to express my thoughts to others. please suggest me .. If am a shy type girl then what should I do? Thank you in advance..

    #10989
    Manochikitsa Online Counseling
    Keymaster

    Hi Kritika

    I am glad to see the desire of learning and improvement you have. After all we need is a motivation to improve and live healthy and positive life happily. Studying is very important part of our life. It is very essential to have a good education to prosper in life. Learning is learning whether it is from distance, only disadvantage is that you are facing. Lack of interactions and opportunities to make relations. Every problem have a lot of solutions, good news is this is very easy to overcome. This is a common situation faced by distant learner. But we can always work on ourself and improve ourself by our own efforts. It takes our little effort and commitment to do something. Let m tell you that our mind is so powerful that it can do anything, the only way is to believing in it and training our mind in a way to develop ourself as a skilful person. It just takes practice, which is your choice to do it or not. Our life’s remote control is in our own hands just the point is whether we want to take our life and our happiness in our hands or let it be controlled by situations or others.

    No one is born with a great personality, all have to make it by themselves. This can only be done by working on yourself daily and believing in yourself and your capabilities. Every person in this world have qualities which are inborn, only point is how much we improve it. After all personality is how we think, feel and behave in a unique way.

    I would say believe in yourself and your capabilities. One of the main aspect of life is positive thinking. When we think any thought, whether positive or negative, our feelings are being influenced by thoughts directly and then our actions. Another good news is that we can control and train our mind to think positively in every situation. All we need is some practice.

     

    You know one of the thing that stops us to make new friends is that we think, the one is interested in makings friends or not? What they will think? But the fact is that other people are thinking the same. Human beings are social animals. They need social interaction to live and survive. Having a good social circle is one of the needs to maintain good mental health. Another good news is this can also be learnt. Just go and say hi to other people. It can be anyone old, child, adult. With whom so ever you are comfortable or interested in. I do this and 99% people will reply you very positively. You can learn to make new friends. In starting it may feel awkward but doing this will benefit you in long term. Having a good social circle is one of the main positive resource for well being.

    Here are some of the things you can do to improve yourself –

    * Set a proper schedule, make it realistic which you can follow. It should be little flexible. First think that you have to follow it for 1 week. After a week set another 10 days that you have to follow. Do it by making your goals smaller but effective.

    * Write down your positives and you achievements of yourself on one page. And paste that page on your wall. Read them daily and add new when you achieve them.

    * Make a chart in which write what you want to improve and achieve in life. Paste it on the wall and then take one goal, break it into sub goals. Then complete each sub goal to reach your main goal. Eg- If we think that from now i will do exercise daily then it may not work, set it in a goal of one week that this week you do exercise daily. Then complete it then set it for next 10 days, increase it gradually.

    * Write down your qualities and what you want to change in your personality, think how else you can improve it.

    * Make your vocabulary of positive words, write down 5 new positive words every day.

    * When you wake up in a morning tell yourself 3 good quality of yourself when you wake up. Feel grateful that you are alive and you are perfectly fine to do good deed to others and yourself.

    * Talk to people you feel comfortable with. Tell them what you are thinking, it will clear your thoughts. If you feel uncomfortable in talking to anyone try to figure out what is making you feel uncomfortable. (Mail m your answer).

    * Join any course of your liking. There you can meet people with same interest and have a great time there. If you feel shy then just push yourself and think this is going to be a adventure. If you will not go then you will miss it. So just sit up and go. You will learn something new. When child goes to school then the one cries for many days but when the one is passing out then the one is so happy to be a part of that school, it’s similar with every new place we go, just the difference is we don’t cry, try it. It will improve you overall.

    * When you buy something or go to restaurants say thank you. Or when you meet people introduce yourself, you can practice this by looking in mirror so that you can improve it. Give compliments to people. Search topic of common interest and talk on that topic. Always say bye with a good thought like all the best, have a good day, etc…

    * Invite friends to your place, often make plans to go out.

    * Improve you body language by sitting straight and making other feel that you are interested in talking.

    * You can do one good exercise that close your eyes for 2 minutes, and focus all different type of sounds occurring, count the number of sounds taking place in 2 minutes. It could be any sound like sound of fan, moving sleepers, car horns, breathing etc. It will help you enhance your attention, in long term your confidence.

    * When ever you feel anxious then take 10 deep breath. Breath should be taken by stomach, when you inhale stomach comes our and when you exhale stomach comes in and chest goes out. Then count to 10 like 1 2 3…. Then take another 10 deep breath. It will relax you.

    * Live in your present moment. Thinking about past has no use as no one can change it. Accept what happened happily. Thinking about future has no point as you can’t control future by thinking about it. Controlling future could be done by living in present moment and by doing your good actions in present for that you have to live in present happily.

    * Read positive quotes and books. Keep a list of motivational and inspiring quotes handy, and read them several times in a day.

    * Dress yourself good, compliment every day to yourself while looking into the mirror. It will improve self image which should be very good.

    * Use only positive words while thinking and while talking. Use words such as, ‘I can’, ‘I am able’, ‘it is possible’, ‘it can be done’, etc

    * Use your imagination to visualize only favorable and beneficial situations. Imagine and visualise your dreams and you have completed them.

    * When you talk to people be a good listener and have your own opinion and share it.

    * Ask questions to people, make yourself involved in situations.

    * Observe other people or your idols.

    * Always try to look constantly in others eyes while talking to anyone, with a smile.

    * Listen music, dance with yourself if you like.

    * Do sit for 20 minutes daily for meditation, it will boost your confidence.

    * Make 2 new friends daily. It could be anyone, child, old, teenager…

    * Every day do 3 kind things daily. It will boost your confidence to another level.

    * Go to park for a walk and do some exercise.

    * Take a good sleep. Shut your all the devices 1 hour before you go to sleep.

    * Follow your hobby, take some time out for yourself.

    * Keep your environment neat and clean, it will help you in overall development.

    Thomos edison, who invented bulb tried more than 10,000 times after that he was able to light the bulb, when he was asked how you felt when you fail so many times, he said “i don’t fail, i learned 10,000 ways when bulb will not get lighted”. This is how we should think. And keep trying till we succeed.

    All you need to do is take some time out for yourself, to improve and live positive and healthy life.

    Thanks

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