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I am 24 years old. I have done Bachelor of Technology (B.Tech). I love to study. I know that I can do well in the field of education. But my parents want me to get married. However, they are not putting any pressure on me but they try to convince me. I’m not good looking, That’s why my parents are worried about who will marry me. Sometimes people also make fun of me. However My friends don’t call me that and always supports me. They treat me normally. But don’t know why but now my confidence has also reduced. It also comes to my mind that I should have been beautiful too. I live under stress now. I don’t feel like going out; meet my friends, doing anything. I feeling anxiety. I don’t like my face, my smile. Honestly, I hate myself. Please tell me what should I do?
Hello Akansha
Good and bad time comes in everyone life, it doesn’t mean life is bad at a particular time. We can train our mind to look positives things in bad time. Bad time is to teach us something rather giving us pain. One can enjoy all the time by getting inner peace. I want you to understand that we can train our mind in the way we want (feel positive and see positive things), it just take little effort. When ever some negative situation comes then we start to think everything is bad, just at that time ask yourself is it really that bad? And count 7 good things about that situation and think about that for some time.
Tell me when you were in school, children rejects you to be there friend because of your look? Or your friends give others more importance than you because of complexion? No as they respect your inner self which is so genuine. Be proud of that. There are so many places and areas of life where people respect you, count them… It must be countless…
The one should be good by nature, tell me if you want to drink a water in a glass if a glass is shining from outside but dirty from inside then can you drink water? No one will.
There are so many people who have outer beauty but unnatural from inside, I suppose you are so lucky to have a great personality and natural from nature. Be grateful for that.
Yes i can understand this when you have a negative environment. It’s completely destroys mental health. But life is all about maintaining balance and living quality of life happily, here are some of the tips to achieve that
* Set boundaries – at this point you can’t control negative behaviour but you can choose to be engage it or not. Set the limit how much you can take it, then cut the conversation and go to some other place and do some engaging stuff.
* Let you anger out, anger is a emotion, it is natural, feel free to vent it out.
* Don’t over analyse situations, what it is let it be, focus on how you can live you life positively and happily.
* Develop a support system- choose people in your life who are supportive and positive. Talk to them often.
* Give you happiness a first priority rather than someone else comments or views.
* Get the control on your emotions than situations. It will help you grow in all ways.
* Hang out with friends often.
* Whenever some tells you negative then say “okay now tell m something positive.”
* Write down your positives and you achievements of yourself on one page. And paste that page on your wall.
* When ever you feel sad then write your feelings on a paper and throw it, it will make you feel better.
* Make 2 new friends daily. It could be anyone, child, old, teenager…
* Every day do 3 kind things or act of kindness. It will boost your well being to another level.
* You can do one good exercise that close your eyes for 2 minutes, and focus all different type of sounds occurring, count the number of sounds taking place in 2 minutes. It could be any sound like sound of fan, moving sleepers, car horns, breathing etc. It will help you enhance your attention, in long term your inner peace.
* Sit for 15 minutes and focus on your breath and meditate it will do wonders.
* Go to park for a walk and do exercise.
* When ever you feel anxious then take 10 deep breath. Breath should be taken by stomach, when you inhale stomach comes our and when you exhale stomach comes in and chest goes out. Then count to 10 like 1 2 3…. Then take another 10 deep breath.
* We all have energy but point is where we use it, if we use it in a negative thoughts and actions then it will lead to misery but if we utilise it in positive attitude, thoughts, actions then it can lead us to happiness and eventually success.
* Every day count your 5 good qualities and feel happy about that. And say to yourself that “i am best and beautiful”
* Read good, positive books, as knowledge is one of the best defences.
What your parents are feeling it has nothing to do with you, its there wrong believe which is causing them suffering. It can be changed if they are ready to listen and understand this very simple thing. You are blaming yourself which is not at all good and even not justifiable. They are already negative about this situation and you are blaming yourself which is causing you trouble. I can understand they are parents and can blame them like this but you have to understand that is neither your fault in there tension. If they feel and believe that you are talented and you can get what you want then it would have been different.
If you feel tensed all the time then you are adding trouble to them, feel enthusiastic and cheerful. Everyone has some positives and negatives, if we see positives we feel good, if we see negatives then we feel sad. Then why not to focus on positives. Everyone has its own talent and different capabilities, feel good about that and try to nurture it. Schedule your all days and keep yourself busy, it will not give you time to think much about it. Set the alarm in mind to check if you are thinking positive or not. Do correct yourself in every 10 minutes. I am sure you are one of the talented girls out there, so take charge of yourself and your happiness.
Beauty is not determined from outer looks, its inner self what makes person beautiful.
Thanks and have a cheerful day.
This is the outcome of your mind running out of things to do. It is good you feel that way, since now you know where you stand. The anxiety can be minimized if you do something that you enjoy. Your brain is fatigued, so you need to give it a rest, some fun and interesting activity. The issue is not having nothing to do, but having nothing to do that is worth your time.
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In the meantime, here are some other things that can help when you’re feeling overwhelmed by anxiety:
• Take time for self-care.
• Take care of your body by eating well, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep and taking care of any chronic health conditions.
• Get out into nature (or go somewhere with greenery).
• Spend time in natural environments because they have been shown to reduce stress levels and make people feel calmer.
• Practice mindfulness exercises like meditation or mindful breathing which can help clear our minds and focus our attention on the present moment instead of the past or future.
Hopefully, by doing following these things you can get back to your normal self.
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