why am i always rejected by guys?

  • This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 9 months, 2 weeks ago by Manochikitsa Online Counseling.
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  • #10963
    avrit khanna
    Participant

    I am 26 years old. I have done MBA. I am very beautiful to look but I am a fair complexion. That is why I feel that when people come to see me for a marriage, they reject me. Because of this I remain very upset. Now my confidence is also decreasing. What is my mistake in this? Why people not see my other qualities when it comes to marriage. I feel like my are suffering due to me. It’s very heart breaking. Now my relative show me the relations in which a guy is not well educated or doing well saying that I have to compromise. Despite having well education , I am still facing this situation. What should I do to get an ideal man in my life?

    #10985
    Manochikitsa Online Counseling
    Keymaster

    Hello Avrit

    I am glad to know that you perceive yourself in a very positive way. Having any complexion has not to do anything with our personality, thinking, our behaviour, its all created by ourself. If anyone is judging you by your complexion then the one is not worth to be with, it is not a quality of a wise person. The one cannot know you by couple of days, it takes time to know a person so don’t take it personally. Yes, in indian society many people have the mentality to have a fair complexion bride but not all, there are many good guys too, who judge you by your personality rather than complexion, its just that you have met wrong guys. It does not mean all will reject you in future. I think you should select the one rather than any one selection you. When you know that you are beautiful, educated and confident then there is no point of blaming yourself. I can understand that this creates a lot of anxiety and tension.

    If you want to attract a guy then be natural and the way you are, if you keep on thinking about this then it will only do things worse.

    * First of all feel confident about yourself, treat yourself like princess.

    * If you are confident then thats the first step to look attractive.

    * Always smile while talking to a guy.

    * Look at his eyes while talking. You start talking to him first and make him comfortable.

    * Wear cloths that make you comfortable.

    * Have a chat on topics you both like.

    * Don’t always talk about yourself.

    * Talk with your friend to whom you can trust.

    * Go out with friends and make some new friends it will boost your confidence.

    * Tell yourself it will go because it really will. Keep reminding yourself that this is only temporary and you may be even thankful for this experience in the future.

    * Focus outside yourself. Although it might be harder to do right now, avoid blaming and criticizing yourself. Be your own friend.

    * Learning a new skill can be challenging; in addition to obvious benefits, it helps us heal by keeping us busy and focused. To make things even better, learning a new skill may help discover new opportunities or meet new people.

    * The only approval that truly matters is your self-approval.

    * Get some time to relax your mind, go for walk, do daily exercise, do meditation, talk to new people, eat healthy.

    I will suggest keep yourself busy and don’t think about it much. We do not have control over our thoughts but we have control over how much time we want to spend our time on that thought. Thoughts are linked with your emotions, if you think positive about yourself then you will get positive results and vice versa. Life have good times and bad times, both are not permanent, one will come other will go. This makes life so beautiful as if bad time make us know the value of good time and good time tell us value of bad time. Both are equally important to live life to the fullest. One thing we can do is that to enjoy all both time, that can be done by living in present.

    You are very confident girl and have great personality, here it will help you. Avoid relatives who demotivate you, there is no sense to be around them. Try to have conversations with your parents on other topics than this. You don’t have to compromise at any point in this situation, fight for you right and you have right to get the best and choose what you want not what other want.

    “Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.”

    Thank you

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